Having anxiety is one of the most unpleasant feelings, it is overwhelming and debilitating all at once. The mind doesnt process what is going on clearly and it often leads to misunderstandings and then more stress. My anxiety is often triggered because of something from the past, and the situation I am in feels like that moment is about to happen again.
I have learnt that the way anxiety impacts each person can be a reflection of the environment and what I have to face that can impact how I manage a situation. Sometimes it can be influenced by close friends and family and how they manage stressful situations. When I have seen someone close to me experience something bad, my perception of that type of scenario then becomes bad and can set off my anxiety if I feel like I might go through it.
Anxiety is far from fun, I lose my appetite, I feel nauseous, I sometimes have to just lay down and go to sleep to let the stress fade. Sometimes the sleep helps but sometimes it just delays it briefly and it comes crashing back when I wake up.
I find anxiety often leads to overthinking, which makes the whole situation feel and look so much worse than it actually is. The self-talk that comes from anxiety can start to turn a simple situation, into a very complicated and confusing mess that is hard to work through. It can blow a circumstance out of proportion and make it feel completely overwhelming.
One of the things I hate the most about anxiety, are those moments when it is triggered from something that happened in the past. This could be that you experienced a trauma like I did where I was in an abusive relationship, or bullied in the workplace. Those moments stay with me and flare up because I feel like I’m about to experience that same trauma again.
My ability to process focused thought changes, because my decision making is coming from a place of fear, that I are going to experience all those negative circumstances again. Often, this is not the case, I am actually in a different scenario, with different people who aren’t the same people of the past, but it can be so hard to break free of that state of mind.
Working through these triggers and moments takes time to understand yourself. To get yourself to a place where you can have more focused thought you need to trigger a calming response. I have found the most effective form for me is through creativity, mindfulness and exercise.
There is power in being able to find the way to deliberately activate the calming response, especially if you recognise you are feeling anxiety start to set in. It is important to figure out what works for you, as it helps bring your mind and body back into balance. Through working on creative projects like drawing, writing, crocheting, I have found my way to get myself back to a place I can focus and concentrate again.
Knowing and understanding the tools to calm myself down became powerful when I implemented using them daily. As a habit each day doing just 15mins of a creative project puts that positive and accomplished feeling into the day. From the daily use, using it during an anxiety flare it becomes more powerful and effective. Often to the stage that it can alter the perception of a negative situation and you can find yourself coping better.
I haven’t found a way to remove anxiety completely, but I have definitely found some key ways to control it before it controls me.